Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
