her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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