So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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