Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
