Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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