So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
