He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
