Are we in a gay sports bar?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
