She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
