Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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