he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
NoShamevember. You game?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
