Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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