Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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