Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
