god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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