oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
