you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
