Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
