whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
