My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
