FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
