I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
