is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
