It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
