You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
