Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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