Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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