My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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