I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
