my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
