I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
