can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
