The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
