She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
