So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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