I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
