I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
