it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
