Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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