sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
