dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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