Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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