dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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