It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
