put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
