You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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