Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
