smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The beer is more important than you right now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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