You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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