It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
