I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
